7 Ways to improve your life.

August 30, 2021

It's human nature to fail at something every once in awhile. It is apart of the process. However, it is not how you fail, but how you are able to adapt and keep striving is what counts. In a previous post, I mentioned how important it is to write your goals and the effectiveness of using a planner. I'm not at all going to dispute my previous post or take back anything I have said, instead I am going to unpack the resentment and disappointment that comes with goal setting. I will be providing 5 tips on what to do when you aren't making progress. 

1.) Re-strategize your goals

This is something most of us aren't willing to do especially since we put so much time into something. Sometimes the best solution is to start over and approach the situation with a new set of eyes. This is not the same as giving up, but more so re-starting and taking a new leap of faith. 

2.) Forgive Yourself and Move on 

This is something I still struggle with, but continuously work on. Even with these blogs, that I write, I am not in any way, shape, or form harboring resentment. I consider these to be therapeutic as I share my experiences and hopefully if you're a young student reading this, you can apply my experiences and mistakes to your life. In addition, at your grade level you may start to be extremely hard on yourself when you do not get the grade you think you deserve. I'm here to tell you, it's okay. In life, you win some and lose some. On a major scale, maybe you didn't win the championship game at your school or become the student of the week. During these times, take these experiences as lessons and learn what you can do to be better and constantly practice. As you get older, there will be more losses and how you deal with them is what matters most. Part of growing as a human, is being able to forgive yourself and grow. 

3) Appreciate the small wins 

This theme ties into the previous one, but yet is so different. In a previous blog, I mentioned the importance of goal setting (Insert Blog here) and why you should invest in a planner. However, there is a twist to this; sometimes when we get so caught up in the long-term goals, that we don't appreciate the journey nor show gratitude. This can be very self-destructive and have a constant thought of doubt and fear. To appreciate the end goal, we have to appreciate the journey, but also why we started in the first place. 

4.) Stop Comparing yourself to others 

Even just writing this title brings back old memories. I like to think of life as a long continuous high way. There's exits that represent the steps you need to take to get to your goal or in this case your destination. It's okay to look in your rear view mirrors for nearby cars, but if that is done for too long, it can cause you to crash into another vehicle. So in this case, stay in your lane and mind your own business. Still be aware of your surroundings, and do not become self-absorbed. There needs to be a healthy balance. 

Also, have you ever heard, comparison is the thief of joy? There's a reason for that. The more time you spend doing that, in actuality you are robbing yourself of your wins and goals and will constantly operate with a scarcity mindset. The need for always wanting more and never satisfied because you feel you are not worthy of success. However, I challenge anyone reading this to focus on themselves and what they want to achieve. Not only will it help you stay on track, it also radiates a new energy and feeling that others around you will notice. Therefore, they will gravitate towards you and you will create a tribe of people who are also on your frequency and mindset. 

5.) You're not willing to make sacrifices 

Do you always feel the need to get results as soon as you start something? This is a sign of instant gratification and this occurs a lot on social media, as well as real life. People want results but are not willing to make sacrifices to get there. In life, everything has a cost, nothing is really "free". Something you'll learn in an intro Economics class. You have to ask yourself, what are you willing to give up in order to achieve your goal? Sometimes this involves not hanging out with friends as much because you may need to better your grade in Math. Or going to sleep earlier to have more energy throughout your day, so that you can dedicate a certain number of hours to studying. 

Something that I decided to change, was eating healthier. I realized just like you, I spent way too much money on food. So I gave up; Starbucks, Whole Foods Hot bar, and other junk food that was a delight but also contributing to my weight gain. I decided to meal prep every Sunday and Wednesday. I'm an advocate for leftovers, so this worked out perfectly. I've made an adjustment to my lifestyle and since 2017 I've lost over 120lbs to say the least. Now I'm focused on my next goal of losing 50lbs and that is gonna take time, but I am willing to make any other changes to my life that is needed. I say all this to say, that nothing in life comes easy, so ask yourself, what are you willing to give up to achieve your goal?

6.) You don't have a plan of action 

If you're someone who always talks about what they're going to do, and never gets it done. That is someone I like to call a "false prophet". This starts from an early age and only amplifies with time if left unchecked. I encourage everyone to be ambitious about their future and make a list of goals, but a dream without a plan is just a thought. Earlier I mentioned the importance of having a planner and how it helps with organization. If you know someone or is guilty of having a bunch of goals and no plan, then this post is for you. Now, of course there can be random events that we can never be accounted for, but the overall plan should still be in place. 

The last thing anyone should feel is overwhelmed and lose all hope because they do not know where to start. Think about where you want to be 1 month to a year from now and write out a detailed plan on how you want to get there. It's better to fail and try again to wonder what could have been.

7.) You're lazy and it shows

Did I strike a nerve? I actually wanted to include this in the title, but I figured it would be easier to talk about it here. Now that you made it this far, I just want to make it clear, that I am no better than you are. I can only speak from my experience and facts, and the fact is; a lot of us are very lazy at our core. Why is that you ask? Think about your friends, family members, and strangers who often spend time complaining about their problems and not finding solutions.

 From grades, to making friends, to being labeled a loser. Whatever your gripe in life is, I just want you to know, it is not the end of the world. Your current frustrations are not the end all be all, and only you can make that change. Part of the laziness involves distractions that are also hindering your progress. Earlier I mentioned (thoroughly if I might add) about sacrifices. This is where is comes full circle. 

I hope this blog was equally as insightful and resourceful. I consider these mini ted talks to parents and students alike. Being able to be vulnerable and take accountability for our actions is something not too many can do. But I hope you begin to take action.